Trending Now: Potty Training

We might as well work on potty training. We’re all stuck at home!

As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) working with young children, potty training is one of those hot topics that I am helping parents tackle right now.

Here are my key tips for parents:

1. Start small and build:

It might sound silly, but you can start with your child sitting on the potty with their diaper and pants still on. Slow and steady wins the race. Depending on your child’s comfort level, you can choose the pace at which you move through the next phases: sitting with a diaper on but no pants, and then sitting without the diaper, completely free!

I also recommend starting small with time on the potty. By small I mean no more than 10–20 seconds for the first go. Again, depending on comfort level (Is she squirming and frowning at you, or is she perfectly content?), you can continue to increase time on the potty, from 1 minute to 2 minutes and so on.

How long is too long? Every situation is different, but the answer is that it’s all relative. If you are committed to practicing 1x/hour, then I wouldn’t do more than maybe ~7 minutes each time. However, if you are only able to practice a few times a day, then it is okay to have your child sit for up to 20 minutes, as long as they appear to be comfortable doing so.

2. Make potty time fun:

Pair sitting on that potty seat with something fun and exciting. Sitting on the potty needs to be more rewarding than the current activity the child is doing. I wouldn’t want to leave Elsa and Anna, along with my Play Doh set, to sit in a boring bathroom and stare at the wall.

For example:

• Save YouTube time on the iPad only for use while being on the potty. Otherwise the iPad is used for ABC mouse, or other school programs etc.

• Save your child’s favorite treat only for potty time. For example, for every 30 seconds she sits on the potty, she gets a gummy bear!

• A fun visual timer can be a great distraction for kids. The Visual Countdown Timer app is entertaining and free. Other kids might need to watch a portion of their favorite movie on Disney +.

Visual Countdown Timer

3. Actually, turn your whole bathroom into a “fun room”:

Is your little one squirming on the potty? Remember that we want to make this a positive experience and forcing a child to sit on the potty until they go does not work well for anyone.

Try this strategy:

• Make your bathroom a diaper-free fun room. After initially sitting on the potty, your child can get off the potty for several minutes and play in the bathroom, diaper-free, with some favorite toys. You can also read books and sing interactive songs together. Try to save the most highly preferred items (example: videos on your phone) for when she is actually sitting on the potty. If she starts to do a wiggle dance or look down or possibly start to tinkle, gently (and quickly) bring her back to the toilet. A positive reaction to that tinkle is priceless here. As a parent you want to show her that going on the potty is great! Have a reward ready in the bathroom at all times to immediately give your child (see Reward Every Good Thing below). Research shows that the more quickly you reinforce a behavior, the more quickly that behavior will increase and the stronger it will become.

Often times, kids “hold their pee” for their diaper. This is what they are used to, and we are pushing them out of their comfort zone. Hanging out in the bathroom a little bit longer can distract them while they are waiting for that next diaper to eliminate in.

4. Reward Every Good Thing: Reward your child for following the direction “come to the bathroom” or “it’s potty time!” Reward your child for sitting on the potty. Remember that they are missing out on other fun activities to sit in the bathroom with you. Reward your child in a way that matters to them and save special treats and videos for potty time only. You might choose to give them a few gummy bears or m&m’s and a special video while they sit on the potty. However, if they actually go on the potty maybe they get two Oreo cookies and a dance party! As they become successful voiding on the potty, you can slowly fade these rewards out, but make that fade a very sloooooww one.

5. Follow a routine: Plan a schedule for sitting your little one on the potty and try your best to stick to it. If you don’t give your child the opportunity to sit on the potty, they won’t have the opportunity to be successful and go on the potty.

How often should you have your child sit on the potty?

This depends on your schedule as a parent and your child’s current comfort level with sitting on the potty. Once your child is comfortable sitting diaper-free on the potty, you can start to build in more opportunities. Some parents choose to dedicate a whole weekend day to potty training where they sit their child every 30 minutes. Others just start with what they can manage, such as potty training practice in the morning 30 minutes after a full cup of juice, and once again 30 minutes after dinnertime. More opportunities on the potty means more chances for success, but you also don’t want to overwhelm your child; there is a balance here. A good medium ground is taking your child to the potty every 1–2 hours. Remember to praise your child for sitting on the potty (even if he doesn’t actually go on the potty), and really, really celebrate if they do go!

6. Be Patient. Potty training is difficult and it takes time!

Final thoughts: Potty training can be complicated, and these tips are by no means an exhaustive list of how to be successful with potty training. Every child is different and has different needs and challenges. It’s always wise to adapt your plan based on your child’s comfort level and abilities. For more personalized help, schedule a session with Lumi and work through a plan together with a Board Certified Behavior Analyst.

This blog post first appeared on May 22, 2020 in Medium.