Why is my kid doing that??

Every behavior has a “why” behind it.

Please note that the information provided below is only an introduction to behaviors and the functions behind them. To learn more about specific strategies for behaviors of concern, please reach out to us at Lumi or your local Applied Behavior Analysis professional.

Behaviors and Common Functions:

First of all, what constitutes a behavior? Basically, anything that we do is a behavior, from looking at another person, to eating a sandwich, to thinking a thought, or saying “hello”. Let’s talk about the function(s) or the “why” behind what we do.

Generally speaking, we act or behave in a specific way for one of four reasons: to receive attention, to escape or avoid something we don’t like, to get something tangible that we want, or for sensory stimulation. In the ABA world, you’ll often hear the acronym: S.E.A.T. (sensory, escape, attention, tangible). Use it if it’s helpful!

Examples always help:

Sensory: We scratch an itch because the physical sensation feels good.

Escape: We press “decline” on our phone to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.

Attention: We yell “hello!” to our friend across the street so that they look at us, smile, and yell hello back.

Tangible: We swipe a credit card, so that we are handed our take-out dinner order.

I would consider these all to be fairly “appropriate” behaviors. While adults most definitely display some “inappropriate” or “problem” behaviors, let’s focus on some examples that we might see from our children. For the sake of time, we will examine behaviors related to escape, attention, and access to a tangible item.

Examples:

Escape: Your child cries and runs to another room when you say “it’s time to brush your teeth”. You decide that you will just wait and ask her to brush her teeth again in 20 minutes. She was able to avoid/escape brushing her teeth by crying and running away. A less obvious example: When it’s time for your son to do his math homework, he starts running around the room and asks you to chase him while giggling. You are distracted and begin to play with him. He avoids working on his math homework for 10 more minutes. While it appears that the primary function here is escape, he might also be seeking your attention.

Attention: You are working at your computer, and your child throws a paper airplane in your direction that lands on your laptop, and then laughs. You look at her and smile and give the “shhh” gesture with your finger. A more difficult example: Your older child pushes her younger sibling down while they are walking past you and then she looks at you to check if you noticed. You leave your computer and tell her not to do that, and you might even have a conversation right then and there with her about how to be a good sister.

Tangible: At the playground there are several children, and some of them brought really cool toys with them. Your little toddler sees a shiny firetruck in another child’s hand and walks over and just grabs that firetruck from the other child’s hands. What’s more, when the other kid comes over to get the firetruck back, your child pushes him away.

Determining the Function(s) of the Behavior:

So how do we determine the function? Well it’s simple and it’s not. An important caveat: When it comes to very serious problem behaviors, such as aggressive behavior or self-injury, please consult with a professional for individualized support. However, for milder behaviors, parents can put on their ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) hat and do a little detective work. As parents, we can be biased about our children and why they do what they do. It is crucial that we stick to objective observations and data, versus guessing. While there are many forms of behavior assessment out there, I am going to focus on just two for today: ABC recording, and the Functional Assessment Screening Tool (FAST).

ABC Recording

In the table above, ABC stands for: Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence. You can include other items like date, setting and comments if you’d like (as seen in the above visual), or simplify it to just the A, B, and C columns.

How to use this table:

Have your ABC form ready and write in the behavior of concern when it occurs, or as soon as possible after it occurs. Next write in what happened before the behavior, and finally write in what happened immediately after the behavior. The more data the better. The first row provides an example. Ideally, you would gather at least 3-5 samples of a behavior occurring before attempting to determine the function.

In the example above, it appears that Maddy’s behavior (screaming, crying, and kicking) functioned to get her access to a tangible item (the cherry sucker). It is probable that since Maddy received the cherry sucker after screaming, crying, and kicking, she will be more likely to repeat those behaviors in the future in similar environments, in order to receive more candy (or other tangible items).

Functional Assessment Screening Tool (FAST)

The FAST uses Yes/No questions about a specific behavior (or group of similar behaviors) to help determine the function or “why” behind the behavior. Here is the FAST below, adapted from the Florida Center on Self-Injury:

As you can see from the Scoring Summary section, you may find that a behavior has more than one function. However, there is typically one variable that stands out as the primary function.

Teaching Alternative Strategies and Behaviors:

We know the function; now what do we do? Most of our behaviors have a long learning history to go along with them. Consequences shape what we do over time. When behaviors have been reinforced in the past, they become stronger. Think of reinforcement as a consequence that “rewards” a behavior. For example, when I work for two weeks, I am reinforced with a paycheck.

As parents, we want to reinforce appropriate behaviors, but we also want to avoid reinforcing inappropriate or problem behaviors. Withholding reinforcement/not reinforcing is different than punishment. For example, if your child screams in the grocery store and you give her the cherry sucker that you just said “no” to, you are reinforcing her screaming behavior. If you do not give her the cherry sucker after she screams and instead continue pushing the cart down the aisle, you are not reinforcing her screaming behavior. If you yell at her and tell her she’s being very bad after she screams, you are punishing her.

Very important note here: Punishment doesn’t work; the research has shown us this. It may put a Band-Aid on a problem temporarily, but punishing does not teach. We all need to know what to do, not just what we shouldn’t be doing. If I started a new job and was never trained on how to run a protocol, and then I ran the protocol incorrectly and was fired (punished), that would be completely unfair. We need to offer and teach our children alternative strategies and behaviors, to replace the current undesirable behaviors they are demonstrating.

Bringing it All Together: Example Behaviors, Functions and Strategies:

Example A:

Behavior: Sam pushes or hits his baby brother when his mother is feeding him.

Function: Attention

Alternative Strategy 1: Teach Sam to tap on your shoulder when he wants your attention. You might want to teach him this the first few times when you are not holding his baby brother. To practice, sit with your back to Sam, and when he comes close to you, gently take his hand and use it to tap your arm. Immediately say “Hi Sam!” and give him a big smile (your physical reaction to his tapping you should be something you could easily do with a baby in your lap). You could also ask him questions about his favorite movies, toys, foods, etc. to provide additional attention.

Alternative Strategy 2: Provide lots of opportunities for attention prior to a situation where you cannot give as much attention. Additionally, whenever you can, catch Sam being kind to his baby brother and praise him for it, giving lots of hugs and tickles.

Alternative Strategy 3: Set Sam up with a fun activity before you start feeding his baby brother, so that he is distracted while you are occupied. Let Sam know that you want to see his activity after you feed his brother.

Example B:

Behavior: Terry leaves the table and runs around the room or house when he is asked to do his math homework.

Function: Escape from work

Alternative Strategy 1: Use a “First/Then” strategy, that will reward Terry with a “break” from work. For example, you could say: “First work on your math homework for 10 minutes, and then you can take a break with your iPad”.

Alternative Strategy 2: Offer Terry choices of required tasks, including the task that he wants to avoid, and let him determine the order of how he will complete the tasks. To increase motivation, you can also offer a reward for completing both tasks. Always save the reward for last:

An additional note here: sometimes kids avoid their homework, because they are struggling with the content and need help. Offer to sit with your child and help them through any difficulties and praise them for working through challenges.

Example C:

Behavior: Maddy cries and kicks when she is told “no” or denied access to an item that she wants at the grocery store.

Function: Access to a Tangible Item

Alternative Strategy 1: Give Maddy a preferred snack or treat before you reach the candy aisle. Try to give her the preferred treat as a reward for sitting nicely in the grocery cart. It’s much better to reward her sitting patiently, than to reward her for screaming and kicking.

Alternative Strategy 2: Shape Maddy’s behavior over time. Reward her for appropriately asking (pointing to the sucker or saying “I want the sucker” if she has the ability) and build her tolerance for waiting over time. The first time that she points to the sucker, immediately give it to her and let her eat it. Many grocery stores allow this and understand you paying for the item with the leftover wrapper. On the next trip, when she points to the sucker, get it for her and ask her to first wait 5 seconds (counting down on your fingers), and then give her the sucker. Try to build up this waiting time on each visit to the store. Eventually, she might be able to wait until you are in the car to receive her treat, and you will be rewarding her for a successful trip to the grocery store.

Final Thoughts:

These are simply example strategies for common problem behaviors. Practicing them or teaching them only once will not result in success. Keep practicing and teaching your child and reinforce their efforts to engage in the new strategy or behavior for long term success. Remember that your child was used to engaging in her/his previous behaviors, and it takes time to leave one habit behind for another.

For more individualized assessment and help, please reach out to us at Lumi or to your local ABA provider.